Here are three tips that can help you if you are headed toward divorce or separation. Pay careful attention, because if all you are doing is using the wrong words, you can easily fix it in a way that will make you both happy.
Tip #1: Words. They can build relationships. They can destroy relationships.
What words would you choose to describe your relationship?
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What if you chose to say it was a pain in the butt? If that’s the case, you shouldn’t be too surprised if your relationship goes nowhere.
What if you decided to say your relationship was loving, or happy, or anything that makes you BOTH feel good?
It might mean the difference between staying together and growing apart. I hope you’ve figured it out by now, that the more you decide to say your relationship is loving and successful, the sooner it will be. If you continue to use words that tear down your marriage, chances are, your marriage will not survive.
Tip #2: This is along the same line as Tip #1, but with a different slant. Do you have a “significant other”?
What do you call him or her?
Is it something he or she can respect?
Or is it *The Dictator* or *The old hag* or *The old man* or *Stupid* or *My nemesis* or *My albatross* or (the absolute worst) “Stupid”?
If it is any of the above, why not change that stereotype to an empowering symbol?
How about *The best part of me* or *My Sweetheart* or *The best thing that could have ever happened to me* or *The love of my life* or *The person I want to spend the rest of my life with*?
Is there really anyone out there who wants to be spoken of derogatorily? I don’t think so. Every time you look at your special person, imagine seeing a sign on them that says *You are my reason for living.* Or whatever makes you smile when you see it. Maybe just *You’re my babe!* After viewing your significan other that way for a few weeks, see how that changes your relationship for the better.
Tip #3: Are you having trouble feeling love? Do you want to give love, but you can’t?
Well, do you know why you can’t?
Maybe it’s because you don’t love yourself. After all, you can’t give what you don’t have. If you don’t have love for yourself, how can you give it?
Check this out. You get what you focus on. If you focus on love, you bring it into your life.
Why not spend the first fifteen minutes of every day having a quiet time and saying affirmations. Here are some affirmations you might like: *I am loved. I am loving. I love. I love myself and all creation.* Use a low tone of voice and say them slowly. When you have time throughout the day, leaf through magazines and see what makes you smile. Pictures of babies, soothing scenery, whatever.